I used to think pregnancy was the easiest thing in the world. No pain, no sickness, no anything. As a little girl I would play “house” with my girlfriend down the street. She would be the “husband” and of course, I would be the “pregnant” wife. We would play that this pregnancy thing was so simple, so easy and would always have that “glow”.
When I actually became pregnant I realized how much of a lie that was. WOW. We were so wrong. I love being pregnant, do not get me wrong, but it is A LOT of work. From morning sickness to cramps. I thought it would never end.
In March of 2016 my morning sickness started, I was about 7 weeks pregnant. I remember the day before I started getting sick I was actually going to the doctors to tell them I was expecting. The doctor sent me over to the lab for blood work to make sure that the pregnancy was real. It was so terrible. I’ve always been bad with needles and blood but this was so much worse. Almost immediately after they drew blood I was sweating and I developed a mild fever. The next morning I woke up and I was sick. So sick! I couldn’t even hold down Gatorade. Little did I know, that was only the beginning.
13 weeks pregnant and still sick! Here I am thinking “This is never going to go away.” and of course.. it went away. Fast forward to 22 weeks. Baby was starting to pop out. Going to work was starting to get harder and harder. I could barely move sometimes. I think baby was lying on a nerve and gave my back THE worst pain I have ever felt (up until the delivery). Sitting down, lying down, standing up everything I did hurt. I didn’t know if I could go much longer. I was so close to quitting my job.
Once the third trimester came along I was miserable every day. I could hardly move and I had the glorious stretch marks. I also gained 40 pounds by the time I was full term which added to the pregnancy “glow”. The night I went into labor I was at Bible study, I was having really bad back pain the whole night. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom hoping that it would go away, but it didn’t. When Josh and I got home from Bible study we wentto bed but, I was still having really bad back pain so I decided to take a shower to see if that would help. I took a shower, went back to bed but it still hurt. I couldn’t sleep. Then I started counting… the pain coming every 3 to 4 minutes. Josh woke up and asked me if I was OK. I said “the pain was coming about every four minutes”. He said “We need to go to the hospital.” I didn’t want to go. I honestly thought it was just normal pregnancy pain. See, I didn’t get any pain in the front, only the back. It couldn’t have been contractions. I wasn’t going to go. Not even 10 minutes later we ended up going to the hospital. By the time I got to the hospital I was about 4 cm dilated. They decided to admit me at 1:00 AM. I was able to handle the contractions for about five hours and by then I needed to get the epidural, I have never seen a needle so big. But surprisingly it did not hurt at all. It just felt like someone was pinching me. After the epidural everything was easy breezy or so I thought. By the time I got to 10 cm dilated it was about 3:00 PM. The doctor came in and told me to start pushing, so that’s what I did. I pushed and pushed but nothing was happening. Here I am pushing for three hours and nothing is happening. The doctor suggested we try and vacuum him out. We tried. Still nothing was happening. Every time I pushed he would try to come out but he couldn’t get over my pelvic bone. The last resort was a C-section. That was the last thing I wanted.I started crying and crying because I did not want to be cut open, I mean who would? They brought me into the room and they started the operation. The pain was so bad when they were pushing on my stomach. Just imagine a scene from Jurassic Park. Shaking, pushing, people running around. That’s what the environment looked like. When they finally took the baby out my whole stomach felt like it popped. I could just imagine a water balloon popping and everything just pouring out.
All of a sudden I heard a cry. The most precious, beautiful, innocent cry I have ever heard. I could not believe that this was actually happening to me. At 6:23pm I was a mom. I had a child. They brought him over to me weighing in at 8 lbs. 10 oz. and 19 inches long. My beautiful baby boy, the one that grew in me for nine months. The little human I felt kick me at night when I was trying to sleep. 23 hours of labor was the hardest thing I have ever done. It hurt more than I can ever describe. But I would do it all over again for him. He is my life; being a mom is indescribable.
What I’m trying to say is things never go as we please. God always has a purpose for the pain we go through. When I was a child I always thought having a baby was going to be easy. I thought you just go in the room, push and he’s out. The plans you make won’t do anything for your future. The only person who can change your future is God. Why do we worry about tomorrow? We don’t need to! God had a plan for letting me have a C-section; Even though I’m not sure why yet.He knew exactly what He was doing. I’m here to encourage you to tell you dont make plans for 10+ years down the road. Just let go and let God.